Clerihews

July 29, 2020– Sir Christopher Wren Said, “I am going to dine with some men. If anyone calls Say I am designing St. Paul’s.” That is an example of a poetic form called the clerihew. I am stunned that as a writer it was today I learned about this absurd...

Feeding Frenzy

July 22, 2020–My remaining role in life is to feed things. A wise man told me if you want to know who controls you, figure out who buys your groceries. For my menagerie of critters, that person now is me. How did I become a zookeeper? I mean, there was a time I only...

More Thoughts

July 15, 2020–More thoughts about things that don’t matter… Proof that time travel will never be invented: We would have been visited by someone from the future by now. Does anyone else get cuts on their hand and not remember how you got them? Fortunately, using...

Hands on

July 8, 2020–We have a quarter-mile drive I’ve tried to repair for 25 years. When dry, it’s dusty and bumpy; when wet, it’s a muddy obstacle course. I’m convinced it has ruined the suspension on all my vehicles. Over the years we’ve patched it, bringing in loads of...

M&Ms: A Parable

June 24, 2020–Note: This column is not a metaphor for any current situation, nor is the writer responsible for any lesson readers may take away. M&Ms have always been my favorite candies. So much so that when I was banished overseas for two years, it was one of...

Ways to Say Nothing

June 10, 2020– “Our diversity is our strength” “We are all in this together” “Due to an abundance of caution” “Thoughts and prayers” How many empty phrases can one language tolerate? Our minds are a file cabinet of sayings. When a certain situation arises, we...

Influencers

June 3, 2020–They call themselves Influencers. We called them the cool kids in high school–cheerleaders, quarterbacks, the guys who could play the chords to Smoke On The Water, and the seniors who drove nicer cars than the teachers. We science fair nerds and future...

Purging Stuff

May 27, 2020–As are many of you, we are using this time to clean house. We call it The Great Purge. So, so much stuff. When we moved to our little property, one of the perks was a 600-square-foot barn. Forget your hot tubs, decks, and “oak-covered views.” This place...