Manure Connoisseur

July 1, 2026–I am a connoisseur of manure. As a farm boy, I was knee deep in it. I can discuss the merits and shortcomings of each variety. The globular tackiness of horse manure. The iconic patty shape of cow. The lumpy dustiness of chicken and turkey. The tiny...

Salt o’ the Sea

June 17, 2026–What substance found naturally on earth caused mankind to go to war, forge new trade routes, and walk past chocolate chip cookies in a bakery? I give you salt. This substance must once have seemed to hold magical properties. It could be used to enhance...

Cheap things

June 10, 2026–My online shopping strategy is to haphazardly drop individual items into my shopping cart over a matter of weeks until I have enough to qualify for free shipping from this huge site named after a South American river. I am never in a hurry to buy more...

Sliding through life

May 27, 2026–You live life on a continuum. Imagine a giant control panel with sliders. Each slider is a track, representing one facet of your life. For example, in the control room of your existence, there would be separate sliders for athleticism, musicality,...

Bad Reviews

May 27, 2026–Why do we derive such satisfaction from being offended? I’ve come to believe some people find their value in being perpetually, terminally upset. Like when they get only two pickles on their Super Clown Smashburger instead of the advertised three. But it...

First lines

May 20, 2026–“The private car stood alone on a railroad siding bathed in the hot red blood of a desert sunset.” That is the first line of a novel. In 19 words, it sets the scene–the geography (desert), the time (sunset), the location (railroad siding), the status of...