First sip

Mar 19, 2025

Feels like the first time. Foreigner

Everyone seeks pleasure.

It is the one desire shared by every human being. Pleasure is so desirable we go to extreme lengths to obtain it. Seeking pleasure in a destructive manner with drugs is called addiction. With food, it is gluttony. With adventure–risk. With excessive physical pleasure–promiscuity.

Scott Adams, the king of reframing, believes there is no such thing as willpower. The answer to avoiding any addiction is not to deny yourself pleasure, but to find pleasure in non-destructive ways. Switch the object of desire, and call it growth. Instead of doing drugs, learn a new skill. Instead of over eating, exercise.

Those of us who grew up immersed in the Puritan work ethic were led to believe that pleasure was bad. To achieve great things, one needed to suffer.

Consider musicians: to compose a great song, you needed to suffer. Same for all artists. Want to create a great painting? Lose an ear.

Athletes: to beat the other guy, you have to train harder. We’ve all seen the locker room banners. “Feel the burn.”

“A hungry dog runs fastest.”

“While you are not working out, your competitor is.”

Dieters: You must only eat foods that tastes bad, or that don’t satisfy your cravings.

What if this approach is wrong? Why say that life is not meant to be pleasurable? What a magnificent gift we have been handed, to be alive, to enjoy nature, to taste different foods, experience intoxication, whether from spirits, herbs, hormones, or the twinkle in someone’s eye?

Life is to be celebrated, not celibated.

In seeking pleasure, we have two methods to avoid losing control:

1) We can limit the amount of pleasure, or
2) We can redefine what is pleasurable.

1) Limit
Let’s say you enjoy the taste and effect of fermented grain. It brings you pleasure. But unlimited access to beer will not end in anything pleasurable, as anyone who has consumed vast amounts in a short time can tell you. But if you limit the intake, you will understand. Even my dear, sainted mother understood this. After mowing the lawn with a push mower on a hot Midwest afternoon, she sat on the porch and enjoyed the heck out of a single can of cold, malty Schlitz. She lived to be 92.

2) Redefine
Let’s use exercise as an example. Most would define “being in shape” as a desirable state. But “working out” to get there is seen as toil. The simple reframe is to find a form of exercise you enjoy, and make it part of your routine. So your daily dose of pleasure now comes from, say, walking among the wildflowers or along the river trail, instead of throwing a tractor tire over your shoulder.

You can find endless ways to make pleasure part of every day, in ways that don’t turn you into a hopeless addict. The key is that you give yourself permission to seek pleasure, and then enjoy it without the need to go to confession.

In fact, I’ve come up with something I call the “First Sip Syndrome.” It is based on the fact that there is nothing more memorable than your
-first sip of hot coffee in the morning
-first sip of cool brew in the afternoon
-first spoonful of chili directly out of the pot
-first kiss

Nothing beats the “first sip.”

The key to pleasure is to make every time feel like the first time.

XXX

Phil Houseal derives pleasure from writing the last word at FullHousePR.com.