Shifting time

Jan 4, 2023–To cut travel time, we focus on two options: 1) decreasing the distance between two points, or 2) increasing speed. What if instead we could condense time? What if we could remove every other second, for example? Or at least remove the awareness of every...

Stream Dreams

Dec 28, 2022–I’m a basketball fan who has been unable to watch any broadcast games since 1999 when our TV antenna quit working. To see the first Spurs championship run, I had to go to 87 Ice Box which my wife didn’t like because I was also watching the kids. But they...

Tis the Seasonings

Dec 28, 2022–How many spices and seasonings do you have in your kitchen? How many do you actually use? I’m guessing those are wildly divergent numbers. I’m working on a theory that the hidden culprit in unhealthy eating is the amount of seasoning we use. Whenever I...

Naughty v Nice

Dec 14, 2022–With Christmas a’coming, the good boys and girls are sorting themselves out from the bad boys and girls. The other day, I heard a child ask if he could have a treat because he had been “a good boy.” It hurt my ears. Because throughout my life as a parent...

Going Bananas

Dec 7, 2022–Have you ever slipped on a banana peel? Do you know anyone who has slipped on a banana peel? Have you heard verifiable reports of anyone anywhere who has actually slipped on a banana peel? I’d bet the answer to all three is, “No, and why are you asking...

Junk Drawers

Nov 30, 2022–This week I achieved what scientists said can’t be done: I cleaned out three junk drawers. Junk drawers are the black holes of housekeeping. All objects within 50 yards of an empty drawer are inexorably sucked into it, never to emerge. The only...

Radical Manners

Nov 23, 2022–As you sit down to your Thanksgiving Day meal, I am confident you will observe the list of manners to be followed “At Table:” Promptness when meals are announced When to sit; position; fidgeting Waiting one’s turn When to begin to eat How to eat and drink...

Grass Walking

Nov 16, 2022–I’ve spent a lot of time in public places lately, staring at my feet. You see, social media users are using the phrase “touch grass” as shorthand for “put down the phone and go outside and be in nature.” Yet many campuses, parks, and public places...

Owning Things

Nov 9, 2022–I seem to be missing the gene that creates the unquenchable desire to own things. This disinterest in amassing material wealth manifests in many areas of my life. Take furniture. If I had not taken a wife, I would still be eating pot pies off a wooden...