Oct 8, 2025–“The productivity of any office is inversely proportional to the number of hand-lettered signs on the walls.”
I once was hired to lead a public education program. The first thing I noticed upon entering the building was the number of signs.
There was a sign above the copy machine
– no personal copies allowed
There was a sign above the coffee machine
– 25 cents per cup
Every action in the building was controlled:
– Phone for office use only
– Do not adjust thermostat
– Wash coffee mug after each use
A large sign in every room read QUIET
You couldn’t escape to the bathroom. There you were admonished to Flush, Wash Your Hands, Pull for Paper Towels, and Jiggle the Handle. Of course one stall in both the ladies and the gents was always Out of Order.
The sign madness started before you even entered the building. On the door it said
-Please use other door
Why do they always want you to use the “other” door?
Of course, door signs deserve a category of their own. These are all real:
Use this door
Do not use this door
Pull door shut
Prop door open
Keep door closed
Door is hard to open
Door is hard to close
Do not lock door
Always lock door
My favorite?
This is not a door.
That one always has an arrow pointing to the door you are supposed to use, which is usually on the other side of the building. And I never see the arrow before having jerked my arm from its socket trying to open it.
One I hate is “Ring Bell for access.” They always hide the button, and when you push it you can’t tell if it’s working. Then suddenly you hear the lock buzzing, and you have to grab the handle before it stops. If you miss it, you have to start the process all over.
I’ve come to the conclusion that buildings don’t have doors: doors have buildings.
Back to the signs. My first action that day was to tear down every sign. It was interesting to hear the pushback from staff. What if people used two foam cups and didn’t put the cap back on the coffee creamer? Somehow, we got through it.
But signs are everywhere. I bet I could give you a list of signs and you could guess in which building they were posted:
Return books to Yellow Basket
Women’s restroom on 2nd floor
We do not accept magazines
Wait for your table number to be called before getting in line
Do not save seats for friends
Return tray here
Caution wet floor
Return DVDs inside
I also love signs that give conflicting messages:
Please wait to be seated
Please seat yourself
And this classic at my bank entrance:
2019: “People wearing masks will not be allowed to enter.”
2020: “People not admitted without a mask.”
During the solar eclipse, every landowner planted “Private Property: No Trespassing” signs designed to turn away the anticipated hordes of sky-watchers from camping in their driveways. I know I did. The signs are still there, and must have worked, because no one is camping in our driveway.
What signs are controlling you?
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