Aha she cried as she raised her wooden leg! Credit Grok3
Aug 13, 2025
“My nose itches. I smell peaches. Someone’s coming with a hole in his britches.”
That is an example of an ominous adage delivered in a pleasing rhyme. I don’t know what it means, but it’s fun to say because it could portend doom while sounding like Mother Goose.
I was thinking about this while looking back on a list of sayings my mom shared with my sister back on the farm. It’s not exactly the same, but it reminds me of Cockney rhyming slang, that playful style of speaking that developed among the residents in the East End of London starting back in the 1840s as a way to confuse non-locals, and, in some cases, thwart law enforcement.
Examples of Cockney rhyming slang:
Apples and pears = stairs
Baked Bean = Queen
Rosy Lee = tea
Strides ’round the houses = trousers
Skin and Blister = sister
Tomfoolery = jewelry
I hear echoes of that rhyming cadence in some whimsical ditties handed down through my mom’s family, who were of English descent. Here are examples from my mom’s latter years:
When someone said, “That’s what I’ll do,” mom retorted, “Spit in your shoe; take it to the teacher at half past two!”
Or this: “Today’s Thanksgivin’, be thankful you’re livin!”
If you replied to a question or started a thought with, “Well…” she immediately popped back with “A well is a hole in the ground.”
If when leaving some said, “Well, we’re off,” she came back with, “Like a dirty sock.”
After we finished the blessing with Amen, she continued: “Amen, Brother Ben shot a rooster and killed a hen.”
When Grandma said, “Well aren’t we livin’ the life of Riley,” mom replied, “As long as Riley doesn’t come home!”
When asked what time it was, she said “Half past kissin’ time, time to kiss again.”
When you said, “Okey dokey,” she replied, “Artichoky.”
Her dad used to say “that was enough to make a preacher cuss.”
Some aphorisms were entire poems:
“Crickety crackety crow
Went to the well to wash his big toe
When he got there, the cupboard was bare
Crickety crackety crow.”
Others:
“Hippity hop to the barber shop to get a stick of candy.”
“Aha she cried as she raised her wooden leg!”
When I cast a net for more examples among my social media sycophants, they came up with these gems (credit to Lanza for the itchy nose example):
Margery: “Convince a man against his will, and he’s of the same opinion still!”
Sally: “Peaches, peaches, hole in your breeches!”
Robert, said when rolling dice: “All aboard for Tenaha, Timpson, Bobo, and Blair.”
Connie (my mom’s sister): “2 wise you are, 2 wise you be, I see you are 2 wise for me!”
Linda: “You can get glad the same way you got mad!”
Ellen (attributed to my dad): “Tough titty said the kitty but the milks still good!”
Beyond the rhyming themes, many shared advice that was colorful just for the way it is stated. Don’t try to make sense of it. Just let it roll off your tongue.
Here are some more from mom:
“If your feet smell and your nose runs you know you’re upside down.”
“I look like the wreck of the Hesperus!” (Referring to a bad hair day)
“There’s no flies on her.” (Someone who was exceptionally savvy)
“What your head don’t do your feet gotta.”
“Using cat’s fur to make kitten’s britches.” (No one has any idea what this means)
My friend Helen from Yorkshire contributed another opaque animal hide-related saying: “Fur coat and no knickers.”
She didn’t know what that meant either. But, according to Helen, this topic is now “done and dusted.” Or as we say in Texas, “saucered and blowed.”