June 2, 2021–Why not judge a book by its cover? How else are you going to tell whether a book is worth opening?
During a long drive the past weekend I was considering all the aphorisms we accept without thinking. Like “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” What is the alternative? Put one egg in each of 12 baskets?
This thought experiment was probably inspired by the clever cartoonist Nathan W. Pyle, who crafts an online comic strip where actual aliens confront and grapple with basic human concepts. Let’s play. Can you guess what common objects these refer to in Pyle’s universe:
rollsuck
sustenance preserver
hot danger screamer
personal star dimmers
foot-orb
hot leaf liquid
twice heatblasted doughslice
sweet disks
comfort square
exploded grains
jitter liquid
foot ramps
mouth stone brush
vibrating creature
fabric predator creature
star damage limiter
leafbucket
Here are the answers:
rollsuck–vacuum cleaner
sustenance preserver–refrigerator
hot danger screamer–smoke alarm
personal star dimmers–sunglasses
foot-orb–soccer ball
hot leaf liquid–tea
twice heatblasted doughslice–toast
sweet disks–cookies
comfort square–pillow
exploded grains–popcorn
jitter liquid–coffee
(espresso is “complex jitter liquid”)
foot ramps–high heels
mouth stone brush–toothbrush
vibrating creature–cat
fabric predator creature–teddy bear
star damage limiter–sunscreen
leafbucket–salad
It becomes a fun exercise to look at common behaviors and conventions as if we had never encountered them before.
For example, the way we play golf is silly. If the goal is to get the ball in the hole, wouldn’t it be more efficient to walk up to the hole and drop the ball in? I guess that is an example of the human need to make something simple complicated, then call it a sport.
Or when my 6-year-old granddaughter saw my old-fashioned alarm clock and asked, “Papa, is that your bedside morning waker-upper?”
So the next time you throw out some facile phrase–time flies, beautiful inside and out, it’s not the heat it’s the humidity–pause a moment and consider whether there is some more artful, clever, refreshing way you can phrase it. You’ll make the world a more interesting star-circling orb.