Nov 19, 2025–Just got word that one of our family reunions has been discontinued due to lack of interest. I am trying to decide how that makes me feel.
Family reunions were an essential part of growing up. A reunion served as a benchmark that brought home the far flung, re-introduced shirttail relatives, and allowed ancient aunts to slobber over squirming children.
It was almost worth being slobbered on. I remember the anticipation when the annual get-togethers rolled around. It was a chance to play with cousins, travel to a park in a city with differently-colored fire hydrants, and eat unsupervised amounts of delicious desserts.
But as we grew into teen-dom, the gathering became a dreaded obligation, like going to confession or helping can corn. You were at the age when you were too old to play hide and seek, and too young to discuss real estate investment strategies with Uncle Bob.
You were expected to meet and pretend to be interested in great aunts twice removed, and sit next to small old men who smelled like paradichlorobenzene and had hair popping out in places not evolved to sport hair. The adults sat around in plastic lawn chairs and talked about relatives who’d died 15 years before you were born.
The food was always good and plentiful, but it was a tightrope deciding where to sit during the meal. You risked being trapped at the table where discussion thrummed around ancient events like how your maternal great grandma’s first husband was killed by lightning, why your 4th cousin couldn’t stay out of jail, and the scandal Aunt Virginia caused when she ran off with the auctioneer who lisped.
The experience didn’t improve as you became an adult and married. Then you had to attend your spouse’s family reunions, where you were obligated to learn a whole new set of names, family feuds, and extramarital entanglements.
As one of the elders, reunions can become downright depressing. Now, none of the whippersnappers have any idea who you are, and show no interest in finding out. They don’t know or care that you won the state Hereford judging contest, were president of the science club, played in a polka band, or hosted a local access TV show. They just see an old grey-haired guy they are afraid will give them cooties.
Similarly, you as that old man can’t keep track of whose kids are whose, knowing that if you bothered to learn their names, they will look completely different at next year’s reunion. I once commiserated with a family who mourned the loss of someone named Sam, until learning Sam was their cat.
So I don’t know if we should keep trying to keep reunions going, or give them up?
These days, social media has made it easier to reconnect with former classmates, repeat offenders, and jilted girlfriends. You can choose to reach out and reconnect, or block and stalk, depending on your current relationship status.
Location plays a role as well. If you happen to live in the same town as your relatives/classmates, you might bump into them on a trip to the grocery store. If you have moved across the country, getting back for a reunion is a burden in travel and time.
Do reunions bring joy? Or early-onset depression?
Is there still a need to reconnect over a casserole covered with crispy fried onions and dessert made with JELL-O brand gelatin?
I haven’t decided.